


Thrice

by Cinnie



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: Christianity, Comment Fic, Other, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-22
Updated: 2011-04-22
Packaged: 2017-10-18 12:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/188981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnie/pseuds/Cinnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Verily do I say unto thee, you will deny me three times.</p><p>Moments when Richard Zeeman failed to rely on God. </p><p>This is based on the earlier books where Richard especially seemed to be fairly Christian, or tried to be...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thrice

**_Peter said to Him, 'Lord, why can I not follow You now? I will lay down my life for Your sake.' Jesus answered him, 'Will you lay down your life for My sake? Most assuredly, I say to you, the rooster shall not crow till you have denied Me three times.' (John 13:37-38)_ **

 

Richard was in shock when the test results came back in.

 

Positive.

 

He, Richard Alaric Zeeman was a werewolf. A Monster. He went home and cried, raged and wailed against it all and above all, asked why. Why, god, why?! Wasn't he a good Christian? Hadn't he been faithful? No, no... he could do this. He wouldn't be a monster.

 

He trusted in God.

 

__________________________

 

 

**_Then the servant girl who kept the door said to Peter, "You are not also one of this Man's disciples, are you?" He said, "I am not." (John 18:17)_ **

 

The very day he met Raina he had sex with her. Within an hour of meeting her to tell it true, and he enjoyed it; and knew that he would do so again if she ever so much as hinted at it. She said he was a man now, and he believed her. After all, he been with her as a man was with a woman. He knew she would keep him safe and help him in this horrific world he found himself in. He trusted her.

 

Then she watched as Gabriel raped him.

 

___________________________________

 

 

**_Now Simon Peter stood and warmed himself. Therefore they said to him, "You are not also one of His disciples, are you?" He denied it and said, "I am not!" (John 18:25)_ **

 

He was going to kill Marcus. It made him sick to think of it.

 

After all, thou shalt not kill. But God certainly wasn't giving him another option here, now was he? He stopped a moment, after thinking that, remembering a verse his brother had read the other day ' _not my will but thine_ ' but shrugged it off. It wasn't like it applied here, only power and cruelty counted here; and none of that was anything God was a part of. Besides, Anita thought it was right and he trusted her.

 

Then she abandoned him and ran straight into Jean-Claude’s arms.

 

______________________________

 

**Then after about an hour had passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, "Surely this fellow also was with Him, for he is a Galilean." But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!"**

 

When the Harlequin woman was giving her fear and despair to everyone, and he had denied Anita's help, he curled in on himself. Desperately trying to summon up his power, he was --Ulfric dammit! Anything to make it stop! -- But the despair and self hatred built and he trusted nothing; he was lost.

 

 

**_Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter._ **

 

The instant the despair was gone, Richard raised his masked head and looked straight at one of the church goers, her cross gleaming faintly in the dim light of the church, and felt his heart clench.

 

_______________________________

 

 

**Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."**

 

His breath came out in ragged pants as he shook his head, the verses coming streaming through his mind.

_'When I am afraid I will trust in thee.'_

 

He shook in horror. He'd been almost willing to trust in Anita's power, clinging to his own; yet the One that would have guarded him and who had said so several times, that he professed to believe in... he hadn't even thought of Him.

 

_________________________________

 

 

**So Peter went out and wept bitterly.**

 

He went home and ripped his mask off. After ransacking his room, he found his bible and, clutching it to his chest, sobbed.


End file.
